Fake

An entire generation wants to grow up to be the next Twiggy or the next Tyra Banks, but all I see is faked eating disorders, photoshop, and 13 year olds that worship HotTopic just for the sake of it. Girls nowadays go to bed praying to Paris Hilton at night. It makes me want to vomit for them.

I tell myself they'll all grow out of it, but all I see is roots showing through piece-of-crap dye jobs and extensions that you could point out three miles away. Every bit of the foundation that gives you the bone structure you know you don't have is dumbing you down. Bit by bit the odor of your makeup from Walgreens is catching up with you. And it reeks.

Your fake pearls are going to get cracked by the insecurity your try to cover up with your fake ego. It's hanging off of you and rotting. Your eyes used to speak for you but now you can hardly keep them open because of all the cheap mascara you piled on this morning.

Move On Already.

Am I really the only one who is tired of hearing about Michael Jackson? Yes, he is dead, will be dead for a while.

I am tired of always hearing about Michael Jackson. I will say that he was a talented and inspiring artist, and I still listen to his music. His death is tragic, but it is time to move on. The media moved on when Robert McNamara died, only really saying, “And today former Defense Secretary Robert McNamara died today at the age of 93. He is famously known as the ‘Architect Of The Vietnam War.’ Coming up is more information on Michael Jackson…” They did the same for Karl Malden and Ed McMahon. Granted that they all died of old age, while Michael Jackson was only 50.

But if age is the factor of making Michael Jackson’s death a bigger deal, then how about Billy Mays. Billy Mays was 50, I don’t hear anything about him. He was a great pitchman, and when I think of advertising, Billy Mays usually pops up in my head. However, when I think of great musicians, I don’t immediately think of Michael Jackson. I can name a bunch of other artists who are significantly more talented than Michael Jackson. I guess Billy Mays doesn’t get media coverage because he wasn’t accused of molesting children.

It is time for the news networks to move on from the old and start covering something new. Isn’t that what the news is for? And if you want to still make a big deal about it, don’t worry he’ll be back. I will guarantee you his name will pop back up when the US government has to bail out California because they forked out millions for his memorial service.

Easy Like Sunday Morning

So, it has been a while since I have updated, so this might be a lengthy post.

Things have been a little crazy around here on campus. I have been super super busy. This past week I had due: 3 tests (statistics, history, psychology), a speech, a debate, and a psychology research project. It may not sound like a lot, but trust me, it is a big work load. So, once I got through my workload, I had a little time to hang out with my friends.

Emma came home this weekend. Emma is my best friend ever. She and I have known each other since we were 3 years old. So, Emma came home for the Girl Talk concert and we got a chance to hang out, which was awesome. I miss Emma the most while I am at school. It's really sad :(

On Friday night, my cousin was supposed to be induced into labor. I went over to my aunt's house to spend the night with the kids. My 4 year old cousin, Jordan and I slept together in a king size bed. It felt like heaven. Seriously. The next morning she had to go to dance at 9. Obviously, I slept in. I was woken up by my 16 year old cousin Alex, telling me that he wanted to watch Borat. I got out of bed and we started watching Borat. We left around 11:30 for our annual family Easter egg hunt. We have a little kids easter egg hunt, where they hunt for chocolate and change, then we have an older kids hunt where we hunt for cash money. I ended up racking about $70 bucks from my aunt, my grandma and the egg hunt. It was a very welcome suprise.

Enough rambling for the night....Anna and I are watching Superstar. I will post some more ramblings tomorrow.

Doozy of a Day

Today has been a crazy one!!!

I woke up like normal, head to English at 9:00. We were split into two different groups and were told to start formulating a debate about legalizing gay marriage. Fair enough. I can do that. So, anyway, after English, I come back to my room and take my usual nap from 10am-12:30pm.

My mom wakes me up at 12:15, telling me that she is the best mom in the world for waving my overdraft fee at the bank. Fair enough....30 bucks is a lot when you are a college student!!!!!!

I head to Psychology at 1pm. We talk about psychological disorders...like why people pee on themselves and weird stuff like that. It was quite entertaining. After psychology, I go to computer science at 2pm. My comp. sci. professor is from China and is sooo hard to understand. We reviewed for our exam on Friday. Nothing out of the ordinary.

When I come back from class, Carmen said that she got her "package." We have been waiting on a package from Petsmart for the past week. It is a chemical called Methylene Blue, used to clean fish. Supposedly, it will turn your pee blue. We were gonna spike John's drink with it, but we wanted to try it out on me first. I put the meth. blue in a bottle of water and drink it. I immediatly throw up in my sink because apparently, this stuff is toxic. I pour it into my diet coke and drink the can of coke. I go into my bathroom with Carmen and lay on the floor. I decide that drinking the stuff wasn't a good idea. I throw up four more times, then I feel a bit better. I go into John's room and tell him about it. Then, I proceeded to pee, and sure enough, it was blue.

DO NOT TAKE THIS AT HOME. It makes you feel like you are drunk. I literally could not function. Carmen took great care of me and made me dinner. It was not a fun night.

On top of being sick from the methylene blue, my knee keeps clicking. It is really uncomfortable. I just decided to skip my communications class tonight. I just couldnt bear going to class.

align="justify">Instead of going to class, everyone on the hall had family fun night. Every single girl and about 6 guys put mud and mint masks on their faces. We all took a family picture in the study lounge. It was great. My favorite was Nate. Nate is the lone black man on the hall. hahahaha! We put the mud mask on him, so he looked like Michael Jackson.

Some of you have been asking about my knee. Things are going ok. I am still using my crutches occasionally, but I HATE them. I should be on them for another week if everything goes well. I wasn't originally going to do it, but I have decided to have a MRI done. (For those non-English majors, it should be A mri, not AN mri. I thought it sounded weird too!) My kneecap has started clicking now when I walk....and I decided that it wasn't good, so let's hope that everything turns out normal with my MRI.

Well, my pee is still blue and will be for a couple of days. It's about 12:10am, so I think I am going to work on some homework for next week. Can't wait for the weekend!!!

Blessings in Life

I am writing a speech for my public speaking class on the 1996 United States Women's Olympic Gymnastics Team. Anybody remember it? Kerri Strug's gold medal vault?


Yeah. I am sitting on my bed remembering. I was six years old, watching Kerri Strug do her world famous vault in 1996. I remember jumping off the couch, screaming and crying when her results were posted. Being a gymnast myself, I know how much work, tears and dedication it takes.


So, then I started thinking about the blessings in my life that have lead up to the present. My biggest blessing in life has been leaving the United States and going to Brazil. Although I was sick for a large chunk of the trip, I was still blessed.



For those of you who don't know, I was given the opportunity to travel with Voices of Youth, an all-state United Methodist mission choir. We traveled to Nova Almeida, Brazil, for a month and worked at the Shade and Fresh Water, a day camp for children ages 2-14. Here is a testimony that I wrote on the plane home from Brazil. I shared this testimony during a concert our choir did on a tour through Virginia. Here is my testimony:



My life has been forever changed. God has shown me so much since I have been in Brazil and since I have been home. Seeing the way people live, in the kind of poverty that they do, made me realize how grateful I am to live in America and to live the way I do. Voices of Youth has been such a blessing in my life and I contribute most of my faith walk to the experiences I have had while on Voices.

Our final destination in Brazil was a small village called Nova Almeida. Nova Almeida is home to the Shade and Fresh Water project, a day camp for children who are left on the streets after school hours. The S&FW project uses Christian-based education practices to teach art, music, dance, and includes daily devotionals as well as a nutritious meal for the children. The camp is home to approximately 180 children between the ages of 5 and 14. These children have nothing. Most of them only own the clothes on their back and a pair of shoes. These children are dirty and hungry. Despite their circumstances, the children at the camp are loving, generous, and hospitable. Even though these children were young and naive about their circumstances, they knew we were there to help, even though we looked and acted differently than they did.

One child touched me in particular. His name was Jesse. He was 4 years old, and loved to take pictures. That is all I know about this child of God. We could not effectively communicate with each other because of the language barrier, but we shared two things in common: we could communicate through the universal language of music, and we were both children of God. When we arrived at the Shade and Fresh Water project, Jesse was the first child that I spotted. He ran up to me and hugged me so tightly that I could barely breathe. He said something in Portuguese and proceeded to hug my leg again. He spent the whole week with me and would not leave my side. I became so attached to this little boy. I wanted to wrap him in my arms and never let go. The thought of what was going in his home tore my heart to pieces. This young child of God, so innocent and perfect, was being torn apart at the seams. Things at home and things in his country were all so terribly wrong. I wanted to hold him forever and tell him how much God loved and cared for him - and that is exactly what I did.

During the final night VOY was at the camp, we had a fiesta with the children. We shared dances, food, and great fellowship. Jesse was also there. He came right to me and hugged my leg again. I picked him up, and he hugged me and would not let go. Even though he couldn't understand me, I leaned over and whispered in his ear these words:
"You are a special child of God and nothing can ever happen to you, as long as Christ is the center of your life."
A giant smile came across his face and he wrapped his arms around my neck and hugged me. It was at this moment, just for a moment, that I felt we understood the same language and he was trying to tell me the same thing.

Having to say goodbye to Jesse that evening was very emotional. The fiesta came to an end and the staff began escorting children to the gate. This night in particular, Jesse had to walk home. This small 4 year old boy, walking alone in the dangerous streets by himself. I couldn't bear to think about it. I knew it was time for Jesse to go home and I had been dreading it all evening. I bent down to his level, and looked him in the eyes. There, in the twinkle of his big brown eyes, was a small tear. I told him to never forget me and to never forget the things that I had told him. He hugged me and tears formed in my eye. As he walked toward the gate, a calm swept over me. I knew it was God telling me not to fear, that Jesse was safe in his arms and nothing would happen to him. I sighed and watched him walk out of the gate for the last time.

I will never forget Jesse. Not a day goes by that I don't think of Jesse. The background on my computer is a picture of Jesse and me taken at the fiesta. Every time my computer is turned on, Jesse pops up and reminds me of my experiences in Brazil. Although I only knew a few things about him, he touched my life in a special way. He showed me how to love a stranger unconditionally and to appreciate the small things in life.



Here are a couple of my favorite pictures (out of the 800) I took while in Brazil.

Christo Redentor- Christ the Reedemer Statue; Rio de Janeiro

Sunrise in Nova Almeida; 4:40am

Andre Jr. Cutest boy ever.

I have no idea what her name is, but we sat and talked for about 20 minutes about makeup in Spanish. Portugese is the national language, but Portugese and Spanish are very similar. So, we spoke in Spanish to each other. It was so awesome.

Hiking up to Christo Redentor.

I love her chubby cheeks.

Jesse and I, the night that we had to leave each other.

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. So pretty

Jesee and I dancing.

Voices of Youth 2008

Another shot of Rio


Sign for the Shade and Fresh Water Project: "Methodist Camp"

Millions of favelas or slums

The group shot with the staff at the S&FWP.

Bed Rest for Two Weeks. Ughhhh!!!

Here I am. Sitting on my bed, listening to music and updating my blog.

Well, to start the story off...I was playing in my intramural flag football game Wednesday night. We were playing the Gamma Phi Beta sorority football tam. They were nasty. Their sportsmanship was terrible. So, anyway....I always playing defensive safety. It's just what I do. I went to intercept the ball from the other team, caught it and started running it in for the touchdown. When I was two yards away from the endzone, this girl, instead of pulling my flag, wraps her arms around me and tackles me. My knee hits her shoulder, then hits the ground. I was laid flat out and couldn't get up. She better be lucky that I couldn't get up either because I would have hit her. I threw the ball at her and hit my fist on the astroturf. The EMT came over to look at my knee and told me that he could call the ambulance or I could make an appointment with the Health and Wellness doctor on campus for free. Obviously, I chose to make an appointment. He put ice on my leg and wrapped it up in an ace bandage for the time being. The boys on my hall, also our coaches, took turns carrying me from the field to our hall. When we got to the building, the elevators were out. I LIVE ON THE FOURTH FLOOR!!!! What was I supposed to do? Wayne carried me up the stairs and put me in bed.

So, the next day, I get to the Health and Wellness people and they look at my knee. Apparently, I hyperextended my knee, meaning my kneecap went behind my shin and my came out the back. I am on crutches and can't put pressure or weight on it. I am also on bed rest and can't go anywhere except class. I didn't go to my last two classes on Friday because the elevators were broken. I emailed my professors to let them know that I wouldn't be in class.

I have been sitting in bed with my ice and crutches just hanging out. The girls on the hall have been so great. I filled out a form for them to pick up my breakfast, lunch and dinner. It kills me though. I am such an active person and I am having a hard time just sitting here doing nothing. I feel useless. I just want to clean my bathroom or vaccuum. I got up and made my bed and cleaned my half of the sink this morning. So, that was something.

On a good note, my suitemate Felicia's parents came this weekend to see her play in her softball game today. They are so great. I love her parents. My roomate Anna's parents are coming tomorrow to see her. And I get to see my mom at church tomorrow.

We have a lacrosse recruit in our suite this weekend. Basically, recruits sleep in the dorms for 2 nights and we take them around campus and show them how college kids really live. Our recruit is Grace. She is really quiet, but is nice. She's excited about coming to CNU next year.

This is all for now. Nothing more has happened in my life. Have a great day!

Statistics is the Death of Me

So, I am officially frustrated by statistics. I have two classes on Tuesday and Thursday: History 111, which is Ancient and Medival junk, and Stats. History is death at 11am in the morning. The professor is so monotone, it kills me. Class ends at 12:15 and by that time, the dining halls are SO crowded, that its not worth eating until 1:00. Eat lunch at 1 then take a nap. Sounds like a perfect day huh? FALSE. I have to wake up from my nap at 2:30 because I have Stats at 4. Right in the middle of my day. Because its at 4, I feel so unmotivated to go. Literally, I cannot stand going to the class. I enjoy and it is so easy, but it is such an inconvienence. I want to go to the gym, but I have to sit around and wait for satistics to come before I can go. And, it's an hour and a half class. Which is even worse. I sit there and watch the minutes tick by and I just want to die.

I have stats in an hour and seven minutes, so I suppose I will vaccuum my room or do something productive while I wait.

Monday Night Blog

So, as I am waiting to get into the shower, I decided to blog about the happenings of the day.

I woke up at 8:30 for my 9:00 English class. I HATE this class. It is so ridiculous and pointless. All we do is talk about dumb subjects not even relating to English. Anyway, it's a waste of my time. So, I head to English with my roomate, Anna. We get there and he isn't there. Obviously, he gets there late and keeps us in class for 5 minutes. Literally, I left that class at 9:05. He assigned us paper dealing with marriage. But, it really wasn't a paper. It was just really dumb. I was aggravated. It took me 5 minutes to do, but I was so irritated.

And, Jessa came back, which made me happy. Because I love her and I missed her very very much over spring break.

OMG!!! Gossip Girl came back on, after a looooong break. It was so good and I was so happy.

I went to the gym this evening with Anna, Alicia, and Felicia. We ran 2 miles and it felt pretty darn good to get back on the treadmill.

I also cleaned the bathroom. I was on a roll today. I bleached and scrubbed the shower, cleaned the toilet, and mopped the floor. Our bathroom smells like Pine Sol. Yummm!!!!

Liz is out of the shower, so I am headed to take my shower. Thanks for reading this stupid and pointless blog.

Put Your Records On-Corinne Bailey Rae

OBX!

So, I spent the weekend with my closest friends in the Outer Banks, North Carolina. It was a nice time of relaxation and memories. So, I am back at school and so happy to be here. I just missed everybody on 4 South so much, I can't even describe it.

Enough procrastinating, I am going to unpack.

Opportunities and Gifts

What if you were offered a chance to go back and relive a part of your life again? Would you do it? I think everyone has had that special year or magic summer that they wish they could stay in forever. I know i've had my share of good times for sure....The problem is, those events are usually fleeting. Times/seasons/people/situations/emotions change and life goes on. Sometimes there's not a way to gain that back. Some people spend their entire lives chasing after the one thing they feel like they don't have that is going to make them happy. They exhaust their resources and squander opportunities to try and get something that wasn't even theirs to begin with. None of us can possess the beauty this world holds. As much as we try to ignore it, we have little or no control over the world around us. Things happen, good and bad, and the world keeps on turning. That's where God comes in.Believers have a firm knowledge that this life is unpredictable and that focusing on the things you can't control is futile. We constantly forget this though. We feel like we're smart enough and self-sufficient enough to make things work on our own terms.Then God shows up.He's proven me wrong time and time again when I have tried to do what I wanted to do. I might as well let go of the things I can't control and just enjoy what is around me. People spend so much time depressed and upset about their lives, not realizing they're burning precious moments of their life away. Moments they could have used to be a beacon of strength for others and elevating God's Kingdom. EVERY DAY ON THIS PLANET IS A GIFT. The people who share it with you, the experiences, just the fact that you can get up in the morning is a blessing. We should all strive to see it that way...Recently I have had my past resurrected in front of me, and while it is tempting to try and recreate something I can never get back, I can do something better. I can start fresh, do things differently, with the years of knowledge as a resource. I have the opportunity to gain something I never could have imagined before, if i let God work and trust in him that His will is in my best interest. So don't look backward and focus on the things in your life that are out of your hands. Put your trust in God's hands and look towards the future, your very happiness could be at stake....

Sea Glass

I wrote this when I was sixteen and just found it tonight. I thought it was really cool and I wanted to share. Let me know what you think.

We were sitting on the cold shore, combing the sand around us looking for sea glass. It was windy, and the cool mist coming off the waves feels cold and charming. We're bundled up in all our layers, and he gently touches my face and kisses my lips. His blue-green eyes stare deep into mine, and I feel him looking straight into my heart.

The rays of purple, gold, and turqiouse start to fade as the sun sets. We stand up, wiping the sand off our pants and start walking to the parking lot. I take a deep breath and smell the salt and seaweed in the air.On our walk home, he holds my hand, and we laugh and talk about nothing of real importance. We walk slowly to savor the time we have together. The trees seem to make a tunnel, surrounding us in our own little world.

When we get back to my house, we take the sea glass and put it in a jar. "It's almost halfway filled," he says, as I look at the tiny pieces filling the glass jar.

There must be at least a hundred pieces in there, all of them different shapes and different colors. I suppose if we counted them, there would be just as many as the days we have spent together, and the nights we have comforted each other. Each piece of glass is a different color. I decide that they represent the ordinary days filled with insight and love.

They are the most frequent ones, the everyday ones. I notice that I put a green one in the jar today. It is a day like today that we shared together that the green ones represent. The green ones frosted with white specks represent the days in which one of us was upset and confided in the other. Although there are only a few of those, there are some and they are quite big. I think those are the ones that help the relationship grow the most.

The white peices are the biggest and the shiniest. They reflect the time ones of us has accomplished something great, or we were happy about something. One might represent when he got into college, when he made Eagle Scout, or when I received section leader or recieved special recognition for singing/show choir. There are so many that I cannot remember what each one represents, but they are all special to me.

There are so few dark brown ones. Those have the sharpest edges and cut your fingertips when you touch them. They cause tears, hurt, and pain. They represent the ex's, the jealousy, the fights, and the crushes. They are the painful parts of our relationship that will never go away, but have become smoother over time.

There is one really pretty bluish-purple piece of glass. It is very small, and I know exactly what it represents. It is the first time he said those three words that before the night were just tossed around and used carelessly by other guys. It represents the time when he looked deep into my eyes, brushed my long blonde hair back, and told me that he loved me. I could tell from that point that it was real love, instead of a lust.All of the peices of sea glass are strong. No matter how hard you try, they won't break. They may get smoother, maybe smaller, but so do all the memories. They are strong and will always be there and will never be lost.Then in the bottom of the jar, there is a big rock in the shape of a heart.

Its shape represents exactly what it is. It's our hearts, with all the sea glass and memories and good times to come, piled up on top of it. Our small pink hearts, learning about each other and ourselves, piling little green days on top of big shiny ones, avoiding the sharp brown ones and trying to find another blue one. It's our hearts, the ones that have grown to love each other. The ones that have spent over two years piling memories on top, good and bad, to make two different and wonderful people.

The glass jar will never break. The sea glass will never break. It is too strong for human hands to break. The jar is our bodies that protect our hearts and memories. Like the sea glass, it is strong and even if one of us goes away, it will still be there with all the life changing memories left behind.